The Republic of T.

The iPod of Death

OK. I've heard a lot about iPods, but I didn't know you can kill people with them.

A Memphis woman was arrested and charged with first-degree murder after she bludgeoned her boyfriend to death with an iPod.

Arleen Mathers, 23, was arrested Thursday morning after she called Memphis Police and said she had killed her boyfriend, according to a Sheriff’s Department report.

When deputies arrived at Mathers’ apartment at 528 Poplar Avenue, Mathers led them to the body of her boyfriend, Brad Pulaski, 27.

Brad Pulaski had died of blunt trauma to the head after being repeatedly bludgeoned with an iPod, a popular MP3 player produced by Apple.

… According to law officers, Mathers was hysterical when police arrived and told them that she killed her boyfriend only after he accused her of illegally downloading music and erased about 2,000 of her MP3s. Mathers complained that it took 3 months to build her music collection.

An autopsy performed Friday afternoon at Methodist Hospital showed that Brad Pulaski had been beat multiple times in the face and chest by a blunt metal object, and died of internal bleeding, said Dr. Felix Klamut, deputy coroner. [emphasis added]

Broadway vs. Bible-Thumpers

Via Boing Boing.

This is just too funny not to share.

“If you all don’t lower your voices and cease calling me Satan, I will have to sing show tunes.”

The other straphangers look at me with stony faces.
I begin to sing.
“Its very clear, our love is here to stay. Not for a year, but forever and a day…”

Preacher lady and the Jesus police start mumbling and beseeching G_d to strike me down and boil me in molten tar. (I look better in silver.)
The train reaches Wall Street. Confused subway riders check out the scene. I begin swaying and feeling the music.

The slamming Bible man looks like he is going to pop a blood vessel. “I cast ye out, Satan.”

I go into jazz dance crouch and then spring up to belt out, “THAAAAAAT OLD BLACK MAGIC, HAS ME IN A SPELL…”

Bible man has to get off the train as I wriggle and shimmy. “That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine!”

Bible man exits. SHOW TUNES 1, FUNDAMENTALISTS 0.

I only wish I'd been there. I know my fair share of Broadway tunes, and I could have lent my voice. We could have cleared the whole place of fundamentalists with a duet of "Cabaret."

Now I'm gonna be wishing to run into similar head-cases on D.C.'s train system.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Via Atrios.

Write your own caption.

Tacky Toys

Via Eat Your Vegetables.

Down south, we have a word for this kind of thing: tacky.

Small toys showing an airplane flying into the World Trade Center were packed inside some of more than 14,000 bags of candy sent to small groceries around the country before being recalled.

Lisy Corp., the wholesaler that distributed the candy, said Friday that the toys were purchased in bulk from a Miami-based import company.

The toys came in an assortment purchased sight unseen from L&M Import in Miami and included the toys depicting the Sept. 11, 2001, attack on the twin towers, whistles and other small toys, said Luis Padron, Lisy's national sales manager. The invoice said the toy was a plastic swing set.

"I hate to blame the importer. He probably did not know what he was getting. He brings them in 40-foot containers. But whoever made it knew exactly what they were making," Padron said.

Padron said Lisy did not notice the small plastic figurines until two people complained, but there is no mistaking what the toys represent: At the bottom of each is the product number 9011

Kilt Questions

Michael over at eclecticism has posted a few times, and once recently, about wearing kilts. At this years D.C. Pride Festival, Utilikilts had a booth set up and was selling kilts.

I have to admit, I've ofen thought about getting one, just because it's different. I suppose I could come up at least one reason for trying on a kilt being that I have some Scottish ancestry (of course there's a strong likelihood that the Scottsman grafted himself onto my family tree via rape, so there's little to celebrate in that heritage). Still I might get one simplyb because it's different. I don't know where I'd ever where a kilt. I might be able to get away with wearing one to work, on a day when I don't have a meeting to attend.

I'm not sure what kind I'd get. The Original is probably a good place to start. I like the Mocker, as it seems a bit "dressier" for those special occasions. The Workman and the Survival kilt would be appropriate for everyday wear, especially given the amount of gadgets I carry around (cell phone, PDA, MP3 player, etc.).

But while Utilikilt gives me 10 reasons to wear a Utilikilt, I have some unanswered questions. The most obvious one is, what does one wear under a kilt? Briefs? Boxers? shorts? Nothing at all? Wat kind of shoes does one wear with a kilt? (This, if you ask me is a very important question, as the wrong shoes can ruin an entire look.) Would dreadlocks and a kilt be a someone incongruous look? These are questions I ponder as I consider adding an unbifurgated garment to my wardrobe.

My Icon

It seems like I always get neat memes from Chase. This one is no exception. Check out the Portrait Illustration Maker. The picture to the left is as close as I could get to me. Of course, there's never quite the right graphic for my hair.

We Are Soooooooooo

F&cked. Read this post from winding road in an urban area, and you will shake your head…if it doesn't explode.

I don't want to scare the Hell outta you or anything, but one of my students, from the good ol' U.S. of A. walked up to me and said the following after class.

"Out book keeps talking about the national government? Who is that? Who are they."

Houston Independant School District, we have got one great big fucking problem.

What the hell is going in the public schools that a perfectly nice young woman does not know what or who the national government is? What are you doing with those children? What are you saying to them?

She then asked me, "Does each state also have a government?"

Goddamn, who the hell does she think gave her that loan money to come to college? Who the hell does she think makes laws that say that you can and can't use birth control? Who the hell does she think that is on the motorcycle writing her a goddamn speeding ticket?

Folks, citizenship is dead and the fucking school system killed it.

…If you get a handle on the fact that this young woman is a community college student, then you can understand why people did not riot in the streets when the Supreme Court handed the White House to Bush. They don't understand what is going on. They know that Friends is now in re runs, but beyond that, they are clueless.

Who is the federal government?

Does each state also have a government?

These kids are in community college? I'm flabbergasted. Heck, I remember rooting for the Democrat in the 1976 election. I don't think I was even in school yet. If I was, I wasn't more than seven years old.

I desperately want to believe Jaye is kidding here, but I'm certain she's not. I shudder to think of our future.

Bleah

I have not written a thing about the current cicada craze taking place here in D.C. These insects basically burrow into the ground, come out every 13 to 17 years, mate, and then die. Their offspring go back underground and bid their time before starting the whole cycle over again. People in D.C. have been anticipating and talking about them for what seems like months.

Well, they're here. I honestly haven't seen that many of them, but that may be because I live in the district, and there isn't that much unpaved ground for them to dig into or out of. I have seen a few; one live one on the outskirts of DC, and the bodies of a few that have already expired litter the sidewalk I take on my way home from work.

But what inspired me to post was this video, found via the Amateur Gourmet of this guy harvesting and cooking cicadas. I qualifies as the strangest thing I've seen in some time. It was almost funny, until the guy dumps the still living cicadas into a pan and fries them in butter. But then I have to avert my eyes from cooking shows when someone drops a live lobster in boiling water, or something equally likely to make my skin crawl.

Oh well, at least they're "Atkins friendly," and once this madness is over, we won't have it again for another 17 years.

Mini Me

OK. So I borrowed the idea from Jeff, who also reads Ernie's blog. Ernie works on cool , exciting, web related projects like Yahoo! Avatars. I saw it on Ernie's blog a while back and decided to make one, even though I don't use Yahoo! Messenger much at all.

I'm not entirely sure about the likeness. I'd like my avatar to have hair as long as mine (shoulder length now), but otherwise it seems pretty cool. It's in beta now, so perhaps the finished product will have more options available. Now I just need a reason to use Yahoo! Messenger and I'm all set.

Big Gay T.

Via Madlife.

If you are a fan of "South Park" then you'll want to check out the South Park Character Creator.

Here's yours truly as a South Park kid.

Sweeeeeeeeet.