On Reagan

Well, there is something I feel I have to say. I will say it with as much restraint as possible.

I feel for his family, and as a human being I'm glad his suffering (and his family's sufering) is over. Beyond that, I shed no tears for him. I do not mourn him. I do not honor his memory. Tonight, Reagan's death brings to mind many more deaths that were closer to home for me, for reasons I've recounted many times before.

I am thinking of Ric, Mark, Ric, Duane, Jim, Nkosi, John, Neil, Alex, and others.

Those are the people I am remembering tonight. Those are the people I am mourning. Those are the people whose memories I will honor.

Right now, I'm feeling and remember too much to say much more than this.

Update: I've had one comment from a Reagan-worshiper (based on reading his blog) who obviously misunderstood Sam's comment. This is the email I sent to him, after reading his comment and his blog.

Having visited your blog and read your post about Reagan--which seemed to celebrate the man--I find it hard to believe you agree with my post, or Sam's comment. Or maybe you misunderstood Sam's comment, and that he was actually agreeing with my point that Reagan displayed nothing but disdain for gay men who were dying of AIDS, as he ignored their deaths, and the disease that caused them. (With the possible exceptions of Roy Cohn and Rock Hudson.)

I grew up in the 80s, during Reagan's terms in office. I came out during the 80s too. What Reagan articulated was, to me, a vision for America that did not include a place for me--or people like me-- in it. The names I mentioned in my post were friends of mine who died of AIDS; the epidemic that started during Reagan's presidency; the one he couldn't bring himself to publicly mention until nearly the end of his last term; the one that government scientists had to beg--beg--for money to research even how the disease was being spread; they didn't get that money for a long time. During that time, when no one knew how the disease was spread, and when it was mainly affecting gay men, a lot of people were infected who might not have been if knowledge about how the disease was spread had been available, if the necessary research had been done. A lot of those infected eventually died from the disease. Some of them were my friends; the ones I named in my post. Reagan and his administration were willing to sit by and ignore the disease because of their disdain for those it was killing, my friends and people like me.

So, when I think of Reagan, I think of my friends who might be here now if Reagan and his administration had any sense of compassion at all, and if they'd done what they should have done. They they didn't.

So, that's why I do not celebrate Reagan's life or mourn his death. I do not shed any tears for him. do not honor his memory. I will save that for the friends of mine whose lives he disdained and whose deaths he ignored.

Comments

[Katharine]

I am right there with you. While I cannot say that Charlie would still be alive had his administration shown an iota of leadership during the culmination of identifying HIV, Bobby might be, and so many, many others.

Tonight I'll think of the quilt, and of the blind old man who helped weave it.

[sam]

I think I was just caught up in the memories of my grandmother who had Alzheimer's when I wrote my entry about how Reagan deserved honor and respect in his time of passing.

I changed my mind when, on the local news, I heard Kay Bailey Hutchison say "Ronald Reagan truly was the father of Compassionate Conservatism." And then it struck me: she's right. He is. I forgot just exactly how much respect, honor and compassion he showed to the gay community, as well as people with HIV/AIDS.

[Eli]

I second that emotion sam!

[Eli]

I high suggest that before you build a case on Reagan regarding AIDS based on your own ideas and personal experience that you read this article all the way through.

www.nationalreview.com/murdock/murdock200312030913.asp

This article provides some interesting statistics which show that Reagan in fact increased spending on AIDS. Not only that he was the frist president to spend money on AIDS research...and he increased the amount he spent on AIDS every single year he was in office. In fact he spent over 2,000 million over the course of his terms. This was also right in the begining when nothing was known about AIDS. Also, many people did not even know where to start or where to put that money...hence projects had to be built from the ground up.

But the facts as published by the congressional record show that AIDS was a top priority of Reagans and that He did not "hate gays" as many people like to think he did. This is a convenient mantage for many people to start because it helps them justify their deep seated hate for Reagan.

[Eddie]

I am wrting a research paper that will show the truth about Reagan's record on gay rights and AIDS. Here is some of my early findings in reply to the partisan hack's comments.

"Not only that he was the frist president to spend money on AIDS research."

Well duh. No one really knew what AIDS was when Carter was present [1977 - 1980]. He [Reagan] spent very little money on AIDS research. His prevention efforts were a joke and enjoyed a good fag joke about AIDS.

In 1982, Reagan Administration people are making public jokes about the 'gay plague.' AIDS was a low priorty for the Reagan Administration. Efforts to prevent the spread of the disease were blocked by the Christian Right.

It is unclear if Reagan hated gays, but he certainly opposed gay rights.